Excited for life! Smiling and positive! Dancing, smiling, laughing and loving! I am in a great mood! :)
"Never give up on the people you love!"
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
It's the little things...
I mean seriously it really is. Like seeing your friends have a new profile picture or status on Facebook these are the things that make me happy. Writing a awesome, amazing, completely and utterly untrue cheesy story can make my whole day. These are things that I need to keep in mind as I enter what could be one of the hardest school years yet. If the little things in life, pictures of friends/camp/nature, silly camp songs and focusing on who I want to be remain important, nothing can bring me down.
"Forget the risk, take the fall. If it's meant to be, it's worth it all"
"It's either time to s**t or get off the pot!"
<3 Quotes to live by! :)
"Forget the risk, take the fall. If it's meant to be, it's worth it all"
"It's either time to s**t or get off the pot!"
<3 Quotes to live by! :)
Monday, July 20, 2009
Just Saying...
I'm a fan of tattoos. As a matter a fact I myself want several. I am a fan of Kat Von D, the work she does and High Voltage Tattoo. Or at least I was. They (Kat' s brother) hired Aubry Fisher. You're going why does this matter? Well she was on Rock of Love 2. Yep eww. I think that just killed me watching LA Ink. Yea.
Here's a pretty good article:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2009/07/08/2009-07-08_la_ink_turns_for_the_worse_with_addition_of_.html
Yep.
Here's a pretty good article:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv/2009/07/08/2009-07-08_la_ink_turns_for_the_worse_with_addition_of_.html
Yep.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Northern California
This is where I have to be honest to say what I need to say without question. Okay so here it goes. I know in my heart that I can get into college I also know that for the sake of my own sanity it needs to not be any closer than 2 hours from here. La Verne California, where I've spent my whole life, where I can't go out without seeing at least one person I know, where everyone is married to everyone else, where people can't think outside the box or be comfortable with things that aren't "normal", where people got to school, college and then get a job and never ever leave. I can't be that person.
I NEED to move away from here. From all of this. So I can be my own person and live my dreams. I spend some time in Northern California already this summer and decided I really like it. That I can see myself there, and in a weird way Camp Concord not working out gave me the kick in the ass I needed.
I'm excited to go and look at colleges in Nor Cal here really soon. As a matter a fact I'm stoked. I hope that the one's I like best on paper I fall even more in love with in person. Because there are a few schools that I've become attached to just looking at them online. One being Cal State East Bay. I can see myself there. Let's hope it's amazing in person.
Nor Cal is calling and I'm listening. Let's go senior year- I'm ready to kick ass so I can go and live out my dreams!
I NEED to move away from here. From all of this. So I can be my own person and live my dreams. I spend some time in Northern California already this summer and decided I really like it. That I can see myself there, and in a weird way Camp Concord not working out gave me the kick in the ass I needed.
I'm excited to go and look at colleges in Nor Cal here really soon. As a matter a fact I'm stoked. I hope that the one's I like best on paper I fall even more in love with in person. Because there are a few schools that I've become attached to just looking at them online. One being Cal State East Bay. I can see myself there. Let's hope it's amazing in person.
Nor Cal is calling and I'm listening. Let's go senior year- I'm ready to kick ass so I can go and live out my dreams!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Seriously
Again straight from Facebook but with added details.
Maybe part of the issue is he still sees me as being nine years old. NINE!! I"M ALMOST 17!!! HELL I"M GOING TO BE AN ADULT HERE IN THE NEAR FUTURE AND HERE HE IS STILL SEEING ME AS BEING NINE YEARS OLD!! I mean seriously what the hell? I keep growing up and he still stays the same good old, not good decision making, totally predictable dad.
Well here's the news flash dad: I'm not nine anymore! I'm 16 (almost seventeen) and I understand the real world to some degree. Okay so stop treating me like a little kid. I get that you lost your job. I understand that we are in a economic downfall. I know it's not easy to find a job. So yea I get that it's "going to be a tough few months", got it, I not as dumb as you think.
So if we need to "talk about some things", like my cell phone, then just come right out and say it! I'm so tired or this run around game he plays. Not to mention the fact he acts like the dad I used to know when my step mom isn't around but when she is he sides with her. The wicked witch of the west. It really doesn't matter what she says he agrees with her if when it hurts me.
I'm done. When I graduate, if I'm standing on that stage giving a speech I'm going to thank my mom and friends because my dad he doesn't know me at all.
Add him to my list of reasons to go to college: I can do it all on my own. I am strong and capable, I do not need to be taken care of by someone who doesn't know me.
- My parents got divorced when I was nine
- I had cancer when I was two and a half. My dad pretends like it never happened. (examples include: changing the subject when it's brought up and up until this past year hadn't been to a actual appoint with me since I was diagnosed.)
- Got remarried to a woman who is (45-27=18) sorry had to do math, she's 18 years yonuger than him. In Hawaii, did I go no, they eloped.
- Then they had a kid. Ummm and my dad wonders why I'm not stoked, well let's see there is an 16 year age difference between us.
- He sides with my step mom on everything. Even at my expense. When they get going I feel like crap around them. (like either of them is so great!)
- There's no follow through. He's "dad" when he feels like it.
Maybe part of the issue is he still sees me as being nine years old. NINE!! I"M ALMOST 17!!! HELL I"M GOING TO BE AN ADULT HERE IN THE NEAR FUTURE AND HERE HE IS STILL SEEING ME AS BEING NINE YEARS OLD!! I mean seriously what the hell? I keep growing up and he still stays the same good old, not good decision making, totally predictable dad.
Well here's the news flash dad: I'm not nine anymore! I'm 16 (almost seventeen) and I understand the real world to some degree. Okay so stop treating me like a little kid. I get that you lost your job. I understand that we are in a economic downfall. I know it's not easy to find a job. So yea I get that it's "going to be a tough few months", got it, I not as dumb as you think.
So if we need to "talk about some things", like my cell phone, then just come right out and say it! I'm so tired or this run around game he plays. Not to mention the fact he acts like the dad I used to know when my step mom isn't around but when she is he sides with her. The wicked witch of the west. It really doesn't matter what she says he agrees with her if when it hurts me.
I'm done. When I graduate, if I'm standing on that stage giving a speech I'm going to thank my mom and friends because my dad he doesn't know me at all.
Add him to my list of reasons to go to college: I can do it all on my own. I am strong and capable, I do not need to be taken care of by someone who doesn't know me.
Camp Concord Realization
This is straight from my Facebook note.
I am starting to realize something about my experience up at Camp Concord. Although it was not perfect I learned from it. I met some amazing people and actually I learned A LOT from the experience and that to me is more important than it working out. I've also realized that it gave me an experience and a reality check that I really needed. I needed to realize that I can do things on my own, that there are people you can and can't rely, that I can do anything I set my mind to,that there are people that love and support me, and that I truly do love the idea of being a camp director. Things didn't end the way I wished they would of. Heck I don't think anyone would want to give up a job that they love but in the end it's been for the better. I got home and wished I hadn't made such a hasty desicsion, I wanted to go back and that idea was veto by my mom. At first I was mad but now I realize it was a good thing. My mom told me to channel that energy of the frustration I felt while I was there and not being able to be in control of the situation,the angry I felt at myself for coming home and not trying to work it out, the "What am I going to do with my summer now?" blah feeling and the disappointment I felt in myself and I knew I would hear from my dad and stepmother who never even believed I could get the job in the first place and do something with it.
I sat down and looked at my future. My dreams, my goals and my plans. The things I want for me. I decided that I would take French 2 (Even though the teacher isn't my favorite) and take the ACT so I could do something for me. So I can and will be applying to 4 year colleges right along with my friends. I know I can do it. I have a confidence in myself that I believe I gained when I was on my own. So now I'm ready, I'm in control and everyone better watch out because I have a drive unlike any other!
Look out world! I'm a girl on a mission to get amazing grades and get into my dream school! And there's nothing that can stop me!
I am starting to realize something about my experience up at Camp Concord. Although it was not perfect I learned from it. I met some amazing people and actually I learned A LOT from the experience and that to me is more important than it working out. I've also realized that it gave me an experience and a reality check that I really needed. I needed to realize that I can do things on my own, that there are people you can and can't rely, that I can do anything I set my mind to,that there are people that love and support me, and that I truly do love the idea of being a camp director. Things didn't end the way I wished they would of. Heck I don't think anyone would want to give up a job that they love but in the end it's been for the better. I got home and wished I hadn't made such a hasty desicsion, I wanted to go back and that idea was veto by my mom. At first I was mad but now I realize it was a good thing. My mom told me to channel that energy of the frustration I felt while I was there and not being able to be in control of the situation,the angry I felt at myself for coming home and not trying to work it out, the "What am I going to do with my summer now?" blah feeling and the disappointment I felt in myself and I knew I would hear from my dad and stepmother who never even believed I could get the job in the first place and do something with it.
I sat down and looked at my future. My dreams, my goals and my plans. The things I want for me. I decided that I would take French 2 (Even though the teacher isn't my favorite) and take the ACT so I could do something for me. So I can and will be applying to 4 year colleges right along with my friends. I know I can do it. I have a confidence in myself that I believe I gained when I was on my own. So now I'm ready, I'm in control and everyone better watch out because I have a drive unlike any other!
Look out world! I'm a girl on a mission to get amazing grades and get into my dream school! And there's nothing that can stop me!
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